she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
