He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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