worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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