My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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