I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
