Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
