can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
