I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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