Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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