We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
