worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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