Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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