I heard we made out
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just forgot I was standing up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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