You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
