like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
