ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina