We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
