oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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