it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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