just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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