I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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