she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
