Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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