if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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