best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
