I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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