So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
