I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
