shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
