ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
