Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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