I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
