id be glad to
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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