Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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