also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
