this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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