i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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