so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
