Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize