he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
