I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
