Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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