Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My room smells like vodka and shame
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
