i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
