you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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