just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
