I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
