Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
