I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
