It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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