Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
