quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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