Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize