as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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