She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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