I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
