I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
