Umm I'm too high to move.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize