3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
