either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize