how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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