Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
