i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
