In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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