On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
