i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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